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I know I’m late to the party on this one.  A month ago, I was shopping for my usual sundries at my local drugstore.  I came across the Burt’s Bees display and was pleasantly surprised that Burt’s Bees finally released a line of perfumes.  I am a big fan of their products and I’m smitten with their Apricot oil.  I figure if I was in love with their Apricot oil, I would fall in love with their solid perfumes.  They were on sale for 7 bucks so I said what the heck and grabbed two. 

You know that saying “Never assume because you’ll make an ass out of you and me”?  Well, let’s just say I’m the biggest braying jackass you ever did see….

Description:  Exude your sensuality with this 100% natural fusion of Italian Lemon, Sweet pineapple, Rose-Geranium, Vanilla and woody Patchouli. A perfect blend of fresh fruits, floral and woodsy notes infused with a solid base of skin-loving natural oils, waxes and butters to provide the perfect fragrance for you.

 Designed to work with your natural skin oils 

Ingredients:  cocos nucifera (coconut) oil, cera alba (beeswax, cire d’abeille), parfum (fragrance), prunus amygdalus dulcis (sweet almond) oil, butyrospermum parkii (shea) butter, cera carnauba (copermicia cerifera was, cire de camauba), candelilla cera (euphorbia cerifera wax, cire de candelilla).

Notes:  Italian Lemon, Sweet Pineapple, Rose-Geranium Melange, Vanilla, Patchouli

From the tin: First off, for the regular retail price of $10, I would expect a bigger size.  The tin is about the size of a half-dollar. Tiny.  As for the initial smell, I had to shove the tin up my nose to discern any type of fragrance.  The Rose Geranium melange is the dominant note. Already I don’t like this. (I will explain later.)

Texture and Application:  The fact I could hardly smell anything from the tin should clue me in on the projection.  I had to swipe not 2, 3 or even 5 times but 13 to get any kind of decent projection. And because I swiped so much I’m left with an oil slick on my skin.  It just sat there on top of the skin and it stayed there.  No absorption whatsoever.

Scent on Skin: This is the part where I explain why I hate this scent so much.  According to the Burt’s Bees description the top notes are Italian Lemon and Sweet Pineapple.  I don’t smell this at all.  I smell Rose Geranium through and through.  And I hate Rose Geranium because it makes me think of my mother’s old school beauty ritual of slathering vats of Pond’s Cold Cream on her face.  Yes, Burt’s Bees Naturally Sensual smells exactly like Pond’s Cold Cream and the smell makes me sick. This scent transports me to a place I don’t want to go.  Me at the age of 5, watching my mother spackle Pond’s Cold Cream on her face and sitting there retching from the smell.  It doesn’t help the fact my mother looked like a greasy ghoul who could go apeshit on me any minute and scream about wire hangers…

No development whatsoever. Just Pond’s Cold Cream.  The end of the drydown (or grease down) did smell faintly of sweet vanilla (and Pond’s Cold Cream).  Mr. Patchouli didn’t show up because he was deeply offended they called him “woody”.  I don’t blame him.

Sillage: None. Zip. Nada.

Longevity: 8 hours with greasy gunk going strong.

Would I Buy Again? Hell no.

Pricepoint: $

Season and Occasion: Never.

Final Verdict:  Burt’s Bees Naturally Sensual Solid Perfume is CRAPTASTIC! This doesn’t make me feel sensual. This doesn’t make me feel sexy, it just makes me feel like Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest!  No sillage, no projection.  It’s as if you’re not wearing any perfume at all, the only reminder is the slick that rivals the Exxon Valdez oil spill.  One redeeming quality is that it is 100% natural which is good news for people with allergies.  For those who can’t stand synthetic fragrance, you’re in luck because you can barely smell anything!  Other than that, I can’t think of any reason to buy this unless you want to waste your money!

Burt’s Bees Naturally Sensual Solid Perfume: Available at Burt’s Bees.

Want more reviews on 100% Natural Perfumes? Check out my reviews here.

Next Up:  Alkemia Perfumes Les Mysteres